At the clinic, I told the GP that I felt as if I had a stroke. The doctor laughed as it was not possible for someone with stroke to be able to walk into his clinic and still talk to him. Nevertheless, he performed the necessary checks and said I did not show any signs of stroke. He then gave me some medications for migraine and advised that I go to the hospital for a review if the headache persisted.

When my headache did not go off for the next 2 days despite medications, I decided to go to the hospital. The doctor gave me an injection but the pain did not go away and I was immediately admitted for observation. A computer tomography (CT) angiogram was subsequently performed and a blood clot was found. All the doctors and the radiologists said I was very lucky that I did not have a stroke or other detrimental effects despite a blood clot in the brain. On further scanning, it was confirmed that the blood clot was due to arteriovenous malformation (AVM), a congenital condition where the capillary bed is missing from the typical blood vessel architecture of artery, capillary bed and veins. The capillary bed helps to cushion the pressure of blood flowing from the arteries to the veins. Without it, when blood flows directly from the artery to the veins, the veins would burst as a result of the high pressure. The neurosurgeons recommended that I should undertake an open brain surgery as soon as possible to remove the abnormal blood vessels completely, as the rate of success at 95% was very high. Through my boss’s recommendation, I had the good fortune to have the best neurosurgeon to operate on me.

When the doctor first revealed the diagnosis and recommendations to me, I was not fearful. Neither did I ask why this was happening to me. In actual fact, I was delighted. As a healthcare professional myself, I was fully aware of the severity of my condition. Nevertheless, having carried out activities in the organization and diligently studied Nichiren Daishonin’s writings and Ikeda Sensei’s guidance for more than 20 years. I had built up the conviction that I am a Buddha and that no obstacles in life is insurmountable as long as I maintained faith in the Gohonzon. I was delighted because I knew that I would definitely win over this obstacle and thereafter, would have a solid testimonial of faith which I can share with many people. One Gosho passage that came to my mind at that instant was: “Something uncommon also occurs when an ordinary person attains Buddhahood. At such a time, the three obstacles and four devils will invariably appear, and the wise will rejoice while the foolish will retreat”. I was proud to say that I was not defeated by the negative functions that tried to obstruct me in my Buddhist practice but instead rejoiced at this opportunity to transform my karma into mission.

News about my condition spread fast among the leaders and members and many chanting sessions were held for me on an almost daily basis. Many of the attendees at these chanting sessions did not know me personally. I had once again witnessed the heart-warming Gakkai spirit of mutually supporting one another. I told myself that I must not let anyone down. Our common prayers were (i) for the operation to be successful and without complications, (ii) that I would not require any assistance in breathing after the operation and (iii) I would recover speedily after the operation.

My operation was scheduled for 8am on 2 Jan 2008, a very significant day for my husband and I as it was the 4th anniversary of the registration of our marriage. However, more importantly, it was Ikeda Sensei’s 80^th birthday. We were determined to give Sensei, our mentor in life, a truly victorious birthday present.

I was allowed to go home for a few days before the operation before re-admitting in the evening just before the operation. However, on the day of my scheduled re-admission, I suddenly developed rashes all over the body. I was also running a fever. As a 6-hour marathon chanting session at the kaikan was scheduled for the day, I wanted very much to chant in front of the Gohonzon and in tandem with everyone from home. Hence, I chose not to admit to the hospital earlier. Upon my admission which was rather late at night, when the nurses and junior doctors learnt of my rash and fever, they immediately warned that the operation might not proceed as planned. They would need to perform a series of tests to make sure that I did not have any infections and the neurosurgeon would have to decide if the operation would proceed as planned. As it was rather late, the decision could only be reached after 10am on the scheduled operation day. That got me a little panicky because I knew that many members were going to wake up early to chant for me. Several of them had even applied for leave just to chant for me. I felt very guilty about not going into the hospital earlier.

The next morning, at the hospital’s food court, my husband bumped into a fellow Soka leader who was also a doctor at the hospital where I was warded. She came up to visit and chant with me. When leaving, she reminded me that from the viewpoint of Daishonin’s Buddhism, everything happened for a reason. She said that, perhaps, because of this fever, I would have the best team of doctors and supporting staff for my operation. Her encouragement really served as a reminder and a spirit booster. Indeed, it turned out that the anesthetist in the afternoon was more senior than the originally scheduled anesthetist.

Finally, at 12 noon, my husband and I were informed that the operation would proceed as planned. When I woke up from the operation 5 hours later, the anesthetist told me that I was doing very well and told me not to worry. He also told me that I was doing so well, I did not need to have any tubes inserted to assist breathing. Shortly after the operation, I was even able to speak on the phone with my family members to inform them that the operation was very successful. They heaved a great sigh of relief. After spending a day in the high dependency ward, I was transferred to a normal ward the next day. I could also start to drink and even eat some porridge. On the second day after the operation, I was well enough to be discharged from the hospital. All my prayers had come true!

In this whole episode, the most reassuring thing was that my mother had remained strong. Although she was very worried about me, she continued to chant fervent daimoku and to encourage me with Sensei’s guidance. She was truly a woman of courage. I was very grateful that my mother had introduced my siblings and I to this wonderful Buddhism since our childhood.

My husband had also exhibited the spirit of a lion in fighting this battle with me. Besides visiting me everyday, he also had to take over my duties as a mother to look after our daughter who had just turned one year old and was very active. My husband chanted a lot of daimkou daily for me and for the life force to take care of our daughter. We had also received tremendous help from other family members to take care of our daughter.

I was warded for a total of 20 days since the headache. Throughout my hospital stay, I spent a lot of time chanting out aloud albeit softly as I was determined to share this Buddhism with others. I eventually spoke to a junior nurse and two lady cleaners about our Buddhism, and passed a copy of Creative Life (our organ paper) and the book Sun of All Seasons II (a collection of testimonials of our Women’s Division members and leaders) to them. I also shared freely about this Buddhism with my colleagues and friends, regardless of their faith, who came to visit me. With this new lease of life, I pledged to contribute even more to the world peace movement based on Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism and Ikeda Sensei’s guidance.